gosh.

i realised that my blog is like dead ever since the last dday of my O levels.

well, that sucks.

but now, i'm gonna start to blog aagain when i get a laptop.

so just pray that i will get a laptop;)

You know the Os are like over.

well, not really yet, but soon enough.

the things that i'm going to do on this thursday is to go to the polyclinic and see a doctor.

how interesting...

when i am supposed to have the freedom in the world, i go and see a doctor.

the next day is my prom and my mom can't really come back home so early to help me with my makeup and stuff, so i'm all for myself and hopefully don't screw up and destroy my face.

 

i'm suppose to feel happy and excited and stuff but i don't for some particular reason.

I WANT TO STUDY AGAIN.

at least i can keep my mind of the feeling of being so ...

and don't tell me about the emo-ing stuff :(

i know this post is like emo or something, but i'm not in the mood today. i feel everything is just getting really bland for some reason. maybe i should just go to the beach myself and cycle myself around and wave and hug myself goodbye when i leave the beach.

ugh.

somedays you just have to look at yourself and think.

think about how you either screwed up your life or think about the good stuff or think about how you are going to change your life. I HAVE TO SERIOUSLY CHANGE MY LIFE.

ha, that reminded my of the literature unseen prose for the O levels.

"I'm Andy!, I'm Andy!"

"I'm Anthea! I'm Anthea!"

do people know me for someone that i'm not?

people think that you always have to smile, cause it's the anthea way. People think that i'm some super happy girl that have no problems. even i myself, thought that there were no longer any problems in my life. but oh. how seriously wrong i was. i had so many different complexes. too many to count.

I knew i changed, i tried to remove my past and really start things afresh. but then sometimes, when i try to be renewed again, there are some people here that still look at your past and judge you on them. they are so blinded by the new change  that you underwent and is just kept behind this huge curtain and continues to judge you according to your past. along the way when you try so hard to transform, these people contine to rain blows and blows on you.

sometimes you feel like giving up, sometimes you feel like crying. sometimes you decide to wallow in your own self-pity. But thats when i find solitude in Jesus, and i am super grateful

i TRY to be happy, I TRY TO BE ANTHEA but sometimes i feel sick and tired to living up to people's standards and thinking about it, i think somehow along the way i tried too hard, to the extent that i actually lost myself in the process.

"Anthea! go find yourself!"

"sorry, i can't."

god, help me.

ugh.

 

social studies today.

it was just like social studies.

i really don't know why do i even need to study social studies?

its like i'm not going to be the next prime minister of Singapore or something, why do i even need to know so much about singapore for? gosh. well, even if i am i don't think i need to know all those stuff anyway.

 

 

BBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTT...

PROM IS COMING! YAY!

can you imagine? its going to be so glam.
i really love ij :0 they really treat the graduation night as a really big thing.

just go tthe invitation card today and wow! super formal.

can't wait to see everyone being super duper hot and pretty! yay! yay!

p.s i think the niga higa guy on youtube is like super cute. but he speaks with this wierd accent that is like wierd. hahhaah :0 but well, thats what makes him cute luh.

♥ilovemiso

what is it about my life?

everyday is just passing by and the worst thing is that I don't even care.
I am suppose to be mugging my eyes out.

But I no longer feel that drive.
just what is happening to me?

Its like scary.
its like I don't really care anymore about my marks that I'm gonna get for my os.
I mean... Yeah. Yeah.

Everything feels bland and boring.
my life right now feels so boring.
I can't really believe that I just said that, but gosh.

My life is boring.

I wonder when this thing will ever end.

Two more weeks seem to be such a long time...
I might just be bored to death by then.

Uggghhh.

Ilovemiso

goshhhhhh.

 

elaine is very funnaye.

a mouse goes 'chic chic"

hahahha